Category Archives: My Family

22 Years

rings

It was a Monday, my regular day off from work.  The forecast had called for a 100% chance of rain, so there would be no construction work for him either.  I slipped into my new, blue camisole , then my Easter dress.  I put in my best friends antique earrings. I added some extra makeup to conceal my “morning sickness green” complexion.  I looked down at my left hand and saw the engagement ring that had only been on my finger for two days.  A couple  of our friends were to meet us at the court house.  We were getting married.

Or technically , we were eloping.  Neither of us had told our parents about the pregnancy or our recent plans to wed.  It’s not like we were teenagers,  we were in our middle 20’s.  We were trying to act responsibly (for a change).

That was the start of my new life.  Everything prior to that moment was suddenly my past life.  Some days I can hardly believe that this journey with him has already been 22 years.  Other days I can hardly believe that this journey has only been 22 years because it feels like we have been together forever.

So much has changed since that day 22 years ago.  We have grown up.  We have rediscovered the GOD who made something good out of us, and gave us our heart’s desires.  Our love has grown over the years as has our family.  We are blessed.

betty jo

Forced Into Minimalism

backtobasics

Lately I’ve read numerous articles about prioritizing, organizing, simplifying and minimizing.  I suppose these ideas go well with the whole “spring cleaning” theme.  However helpful these themes are meant to be, they remind me of April two years ago and the hardest time our family has ever had.

On April 26th, 2011 we had to evacuate our home because of river and creek flooding.  We only took enough clothes for three days. We packed up our current homeschool books, supplies, and records.  The kids brought along one toy apiece.  We put a lot of things upstairs and put our furniture and appliances on concrete blocks, placed sand bags all around, grabbed mama cat and her kittens, and left.

The seven of us invaded the home of my husband’s sister.  Also, his parents, niece, her husband, and daughter were flooded out and were staying there, too (13 total).  It was crowded and tough getting along.   Everyone was stressed out, sad, frightened and worried.

It wasn’t until 2 weeks later before we could return to our home.  It was a nightmare!  The water line in the kitchen measured 42 inches.  Our furniture had floated off the blocks and tipped over.  A tornado had sucked out the kitchen window which in turn was an open invitation to every woodland and stray animal to take refuge in our house (upstairs included).  The septic system backed up into both bathrooms, kitchen, and laundry room.    Oh, the smell was sickening and so much mold was growing on everything.  We were not going to be able to live there ever again.  Our belongings, including fifteen years of homeschooling books, projects, and records were completely ruined.

floodThe white foamy stuff in this photo is the mold that covered every inch of our home and belongings.  We had started our family twenty years prior to this event, so as you can imagine, we had a LOT of stuff.

The local news did a report from our driveway and yard about the dangers of poisonous snakes in flood zones.  And we found 2 snakes skins, one on the porch and one in the dining room.

After meeting with the insurance company, the Red Cross, and FEMA, we had the grand total of $8000 to start over with.

We stayed with my sister-in-law for three months, because there was not any rental property available in the area with so many being relocated.  Finally we were able to move into a tiny rental trailer.   We were greatly blessed by the charities of local churches, the Salvation Army and other ministries, who prayed with us, helped us with clothing , furniture, and brought us meals (they knew we were in too much shock to grocery shop, or prepare healthy meals).  We also, found out who our best friends really were.

By the following October, after living three months in that rental trailer, six months since the evacuation, we were approved for an emergency recovery loan for $50,000.  With more prayers, a very creative realtor, a caring loan officer, and sympathetic sellers, we had a HOME.

Today our home and furnishings fit into the categories of prioritized, organized, simplified, and minimized.  Though all these lifestyle and attitude changes did not happen to us by choice, I can look back and know without any doubt that these changes have been exactly what we needed.  We have learned about what is truly important. We understand the value of lending a helping hand to others.  We have much greater appreciation of the material things we have replaced.  We know that God doesn’t leave us or forsake us.  We are convinced that He provides us with what we need.  We are thankful.

betty jo

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Autism – I Am Aware

autism-awareness-dayHis head was a little bigger than my other babies.  His grip on my finger wasn’t tight.  As he reached the ages for certain milestone developments,(holding his head up without support, sitting, crawling, walking, speaking, etc), he wasn’t doing what baby experts said he should be doing.  He had digestive issues.  He would rarely make eye contact.  He did not seem to feel pain to the degree that others did.  Sometimes, he would get so frustrated he would bang his head.  Sometimes he would drift away as if he wasn’t even aware of whatever was going on around him.

You’re reading about my J9.  He is somewhere on that rather large autism spectrum.   He has no middle ground.   He is either joyful or mournful, hyper or asleep, loud or silent, all for something or completely against it.  If he is interested in something it is obsessive, and if he is not interested in something he will pay it no attention whatsoever.

I saw this posted on a social media  site today:

freedomThis describes my J9.  He does not care what anyone thinks of him.  He does not ever try to be popular or win approval.  J9 is mentally free.

J9 is quite charismatic, and others, even strangers are drawn to him. He gets more hugs from his siblings, father, and me than the rest of us put together.  His touch melts the heart.  His laughter brightens the darkest of days.

I read an article a couple of years ago in which the author said her autistic son “thought so far  outside of the box that he wasn’t even aware of a box to begin with”.  That too describes my J9.  For example, he sometimes cheers the sunset with the enthusiasm of a sports fan during a   championship game.

J9 is smart.  Really smart.  His computer skills are amazing and natural.  He learned phonics rules on his own and taught himself to read.  His memory is outstanding.  With homeschooling, he prefers to work independently.  When he includes himself in a discussion he wants to know what the Bible says about it, or what my mother would think about it (she passed away before he was born).  He is very interested in times and dates and is the most scheduled one in our home.

My J9 can also be funny though sometimes shocking.  E17 had some girlfriends over to spend the weekend.  J9 does not like to have company and was not happy about them staying  with us, but we assured him that they would be spending most of their time in his sister’s room and would sleep in there.  In fact he was still a little upset about that visit even after they left.  A co-worker, a young man, came home one evening with A21.  As he walked through the door, J9 started screaming, “You are not going to sleep with my sister!”  We were laughing so hard we couldn’t  even explain the situation to this young man.

As people all around the world become more aware of autism today, I hope someone will make sure they understand more than the disabilities and strangeness, I want others to be aware of the blessings of autism, too.  There are many.

betty jo

15 Today

B14, (my middle child) is now B15.  He celebrated his 15th birthday today.  Wow, 15 years old!   He and I skipped out on homeschooling today.  We went shopping for a new tablet, out to lunch, then later stopped by our house to pick up the others to  join our homeschool group for bowling (PE).  Tonight we partied on with his favorite home cooked meal, chicken and dumplings, and chocolate cream cake with mini M&Ms.

cake

Though all of that has been fun, my mind has been elsewhere.  My thoughts have drifted back 15 years.  I was pregnant with B when our family decided we were going to quit public school, (the oldest was in kindergarten).  My pregnancy was our homeschool’s first science unit study, and his homebirth was our first science experiment.  Though the kindergartener slept through all the excitement, my two year old daughter did not.  She learned about design and empowerment, I learned trust, my husband learned to be a true “hands on” kind of dad, and B learned that he was safe, loved, and protected outside my womb.  When we woke the oldest, he learned that babies make both families and hearts grow.  We all learned about miracles.  Miracles make the most awesome homeschooling lessons, don’t they?

On B’s birth announcement we quoted James 1:17a, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights”.  You know his name really isn’t B, it’s Boone.  Boone means “gift”.  Yes, without a doubt, this boy, I mean young man, is a gift from God.

boonebetty jo

Forgive Me Daily

Another Monday, another look at the planner and calendar to see what we can include in our homeschooling week.  March 18th is marked with three special event days.  The first is “Awkward Moments Day”.  We have those everyday, so nothing much to celebrate with this.

The second is “Napping Day”.  Yes, really.  This is more than fine with me.   I’m thinking about 1:00 will be perfect for celebrating this one.  I might even put on pj’s.  My teenagers will more than likely claim this one in the morning when I try to get them up and out of bed, and I can imagine the younger boys reminding me , “But it’s nap day”,  when I say it’s time for chores.

The other special day on the 18th is “Forgive Mom and Dad Day”.  Around my house, this needs to be done everyday, some days several times.  I cannot fathom the hurt and anger and bitterness that would bind up my kids if they only forgave me once a year.

Luke 6:37  “If you do not judge others, then you will not be judged. If you do not find others guilty, then you will not be found guilty. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

“Forgive and you will be forgiven”.  That’s the thing that will make the 18th and all the rest of our days special.

betty jo

“The people on the bus go bounce, bounce, bounce”

You know the song, The second verse goes,” the people on the bus go bounce, bounce bounce…”  It wasn’t a bus, but our SUV. Last night when we were going to our homeschool groups Family Night, my youngest, (on the blog, kids’ names will be their 1st initial and age), Z7 says, “It’s bouncy back here.”.  Well of course it is, he’s riding in the 3rd row right over the back tires. E17 is riding in the middle with B14 and they think it’s bouncy, too. “Maybe the roads are just worn from weather or something” I’m telling myself, but also had the warning thought, “something’s wrong with the car”.  By the time we said our goodbyes and started the trip back home, we had forgotten about that bouncing, but as we got on the main road we remembered. Not just in the back, or the middle, but upfront. Bouncing isn’t even the right word for it our insides were starting to jiggle around.  There were jokes about fancy hydraulics and “Pimp My Ride” and singing “All my friends drive low riders”. We could laugh some but still knew something was wrong.

Evidently there is an issue with the air compressor shock thingy. Today the rear of the car is practically sitting on the back tires.  THIS IS NOT GOOD. As panic sets in as I realize how busy this week is supposed to be…a cannot miss something. with A21, childrens’ ministry, homeschool bowling, library, creative ministries, color guard, then A22 will have work and A21 has college classes. I’m not one of those “must-stick-to-the-schedule” moms. I learned a long time ago to be flexible about our plans for things get changed, often better things happen.

Better things can happen. That’s how I’m trying to focus my thoughts because thinking about my ride being in the garage for days is making too much anxiety.  I’ll have dates with my husband (kind of) as he takes me to the grocery and errands after his work.  Some housework might even get done (even cleaning off my desk) since we won’t be rushing off anywhere. We will finally get some of those projects in school finished up(castle box). And I will READ! And I will NAP! I’m so blessed with my home, it will be good for me to have full days in it.

Finding a silver lining in a dark cloud, or seeing  a glass half full, or making lemonade…these are pretty hard disciplines for me, but tonight I’m trying.  Today is a “day that the Lord has made.  I will rejoice and be glad in it”. And tomorrow I’ll find more silver linings while drinking a half a glass of lemonade and humming that annoying low rider song. betty jo