I did not just “fall off the turnip truck”, and I have “been around the block a few times”, meaning that I’m not naive, inexperienced, or immature.
I know that from time to time I will be in a disagreement with others. I am aware that conflicts happen within families, churches, neighborhoods, and groups. I find myself currently involved in yet another conflict that the outcome will affect others. This time the differences in opinions have left me shocked, angry and hurt.
It has been a week since the disagreement and I am still devoting too much of my time and energy dwelling on it. Dwelling on the disagreement, not the solution. My family knows about this situation that I’m having a difficult time with. My kids are watching me and my reactions. I realize that lately I have not been “practicing what I preach” or “walking the walk”. I’m showing my kids what not to do instead of showing the right thing to do.
As of this very moment I am prayerfully changing my attitude. The Holy Spirit is reminding me of the Scriptures I should be applying. First there is this one,
Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
I desire to be a blessed child of God. I will allow peace to take over my attitude so that the hurt and anger will no longer have a place.
Next, the Word reminds me of more principles to apply,
1 Corinthians 13:5 It [love] does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Ouch! I’m guilty of not acting in love. I have dishonored those I’ve disagreed with. I’ve thought badly of them. I’ve spoken some of those dishonorable thoughts out loud. I have been rather self-seeking, self righteous, and closed minded. I was easily, very easily, angered. I know why, too. It’s because of the records of wrongs I keep against them. It’s true, I keep a mental list of everything, both little and big, that has ever offended me. This list is not helping with finding solutions. It is keeping my focus off of the matters at hand ,therefore keeping us from resolving the issue. I’m laying my list down and will try not to pick it up again.
Proverbs 19:11 A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
I’ll be getting over my hurt ego now and letting go of the anger. I’ll be moving forward toward a resolution with both wisdom and patience. This new and improved attitude is not just for my own benefit, but for the group of people this disagreement affects. I also want my kids to see me doing what is right, setting a good example for them to follow. They will always be involved in conflicts, too. It’s just part of life.
God isn’t done with us any of us yet. He guides and equips us through conflict. He forgives us. He encourages us with hope. He reminds us of who we are and sometimes rewinds us to start over with the right attitudes.
Praying for you!
Thank you, Janet! 🙂
I of course have no idea of what your disagreement was about, however, I can and do understand where you are coming from and thank you for this post because I have recently had a disagreement with a friend of over 40 years and it is killing me that neither one of us has the courage to call the other. I can’t because I know that this person will continue even if in a conciliatory manner and that will just anger me again, that she does not feel I am old enough or mature enough to make my own decisions. Why are people like that? God bless you and your endeavor to make a change in your attitude so that you children can see you do the right thing. I will be praying over this.
Thanks Pam for visiting my blog site. I’m sorry to hear about your disagreement w/your long time friend. Thanks for praying for me, and I’ll add you to who I pray for too. May God bless us both as we seek His help.
We all go through this. Thank you for being an example to others of how to deal with this rightly. Listening to God’s voice through His word is key.
I certainly could have used my own advice a week ago. I’ll be listening to God’s voice quicker next time.
I have to check myself sometimes too, for setting the wrong example, and make sure I show my children the right way to resolve conflict. Thank YOU for setting the right example 🙂
Perhaps next time I won’t wait a week to set the right example.
Allowing Christ to change my heart is easily one of the most difficult things in my life! I have a double-portion of good, old German stubbornness. Good luck as you work to settle things. God bless!
Oh, I have stubbornness too, Becca.
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I think we all go thru times like this in our lives. The thing is….some do nothing about it, let it fester and brew and continue with a self-rightous view. You on the other hand, my friend, do the Christian thing and bring it out in the open, let others know you have a problem and you pray about it and others pray with you and for you. Thus you have done the right thing…so…Let Go and Let GOD!! Problem will be solved.
Thanks Jeannie, and when something like this happens again, I hope “Let Go and Let God” sooner. A week of letting it fester and brew was not good at all.
Thank you for sharing this today. This is one of the hardest things for me – to let go, and let God work. I appreciate the scriptures you shared. They were a blessing to me.
I agree with you – letting go and letting God work – is a hard thing for me too. I’m happy to hear that the Scriptures were a blessing to you.