This mommas heart has been heavy. My first born, A21 is leaving the nest. Not for a job or different college, but for love. A love that is not here in Kentucky, but in Michigan. I knew this day would eventually come, but that doesn’t help my emotions any. This is not some surprise news, they have been planning this for months. I have imagined the worst possible outcomes. I’ve cried rivers. I have thrown fits. This was not in my plan for my son!
I have very close friends in our homeschooling support group. As I whined and complained about my A quitting his job (it’s a cruddy job) and not signing up for the fall semester at college, one of the moms looked right at me and said I just simply had to trust God with my son now. I replied, “I trust God, just not my son!”
For days, no weeks, that conversation has haunted me. That other mom was right. I wasn’t trusting God with this situation.
I don’t know the plans HE has for my son. I know A belongs to God and has a personal relationship with Christ Jesus. I know the WORD is in his head and his heart. And, if he makes a mistake or two, the Lord will use it for his good. He will grow from it. And, if this move is God’s plan, then it won’t be long before I have a daughter-in-law and a very happy son!
The girl is beautiful and sweet. She loves him. I truly cannot blame him for wanting to be with her. His moving so many miles away may even be Biblical if the courtship goes right. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife” (Genesis 2:24)
It’s time for this momma to let him go. His dad and I have educated him. We have taught him the best that we could . We believe that he knows what to do to be a man. We have shared our faith and A made it his own years ago. He is smart and talented. He works hard and loves much.
I am assured that my A isn’t going away totally on his own, but he is taking his Best Friend with him. He will stay by his side, He will teach him. He will spark A’s memory of what he has learned from being a child of God.
I have this same Best Friend who will stay by my side too. He’ll comfort me, dry these tears, and remind me that He’s got this under control. He sees the big picture, not I.
For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)
But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you. (John 14:26)
Dear reader, pray with me to get my emotions under control and actually start trusting the One with the plan. He will lead and guide my child. God does not require my interference, opinion, or my controlling nature with what He has in store for my first born.
This is trishias mom . I just want to let u know my husband and I really like and care for adam and we will not let either him nor her fall. We expect him to keep going in school. That is our plan for her as well to get going with school . If u ever have questions for us plz don’t hesitate to call or facebook. Just want to let u know we have adams back always.
Melanie, I so the way you care for my Adam. I will be getting in touch with you soon. Thanks 🙂
Betty Jo – certainly I will pray that the good Lord guides him and helps him stay on the right path. That this love of his stays on the path also! Praying for you to learn that “letting go” and letting trust prevail! Enjoy the weekend!
Thank you Melissa 🙂
Betty Jo – I can’t imagine the day my little guy leaves – but I know it will come. I hope I can handlei in the Godly way you are doing. I’ll be praying for you!
Mary, thank you for your kind words, but it has been a struggle getting my mind and my heart wrapped around the Godly way of handling this new phase of our lives.
I’ll pray, Betty Jo! What you say is sad but true! Our kids do exactly what we’ve prepared them to do- grow up and leave us! It’s a blessing but a bittersweet one! Thanks for sharing your heart at Friendship Friday!
Sylvia, I was thinking about you and your son’s recent wedding and how all of that was for you. I think you have the right word, “bittersweet”. betty jo
It is never easy when our children leave the nest. Three of ours have ‘flown the coop’ so far. There are always things to mourn and things to rejoice over. I was definitely not ready when our oldest left home and married, and while it is still a difficult transition, I find I”m more ready to go through it. I really don’t want them to stay under my wing forever, so I had better get ready. “Trust in the Lord, lean not on my own understanding.” That became my go-to phrase. Hang in there Mom! It really is exciting to see them grow and mature and became amazing adults in ways we never expected.
(visiting from Homeschool Mother’s Journal)
Thanks for visiting my blog and thank you for the encouraging words. You’re right, our oldest wasn’t raised to grow up and stay home. betty jo
My Mom once told me that when your children feel CONFIDENT to go out on their own and start their lives then you’ve raised them well. I’m sure it’s not easy, but he seems to have that CONFIDENCE.
The things our moms told us are wise. Thanks for sharing from your mom!
Sister Betty Jo, you’ve had my prayers since I started following your blog. Now I have some specific direction regarding intercession! Sis, don’t forget: Proverbs 22:6, Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
I know this is probably not even new to you, but as a father to two grown kids (both boys) I know this to be true. I don’t just believe it Sis, I KNOW it to be true. I have seen it come true. It doesn’t mean my boys didn’t have a few obstacles of their own, it’s just that the Lord used those obstacles to make them the men they were meant to be in Him!
In fact, my older son who is a Sheriff’s Deputy lives here in Colorado and we have lived in Arizona (moving there from Washington State) for almost 30 years! We finally had, last July 4th the opportunity to move close to them after they tried a couple of times to move close to us. It was the Lord’s timing and His Spirit’s leading. But the times in-between when we didn’t get to see him, his lovely wife and our grandson was a real hardship on Susie and I.
But now, getting to be close and to see our grandson walking in the steps of the Lord in his own right (he’s going on 15) is worth all the time away! It truly let us know that our prayers did NOT fall on deaf ears and our Heavenly Father’s promises are real!!
God bless you Sis, will be praying for you AND going with you on this journey!
Thank you Pastor Roland!
My husband moved to another country(from Dallas to the Philippines) to be with me when he was barely 23. And he is an only child. His parents were very supportive even though it must have been incredibly difficult for his mom to let go… but they gave us their blessings & never questioned the move. As a result, they have a very, very happy son who is living his dream life. Let your son follow his heart, be assured that God is in it. 🙂
Thank you Sofia. Your story is exactly what I needed to hear!
Hello…I found your post because I just blogged about the same thing and wanted to connect with others going through this process of having our children move out…and far away. We live in Missouri and our daughter just moved to Seattle. We did used to live in Seattle and it is a wonderful, beautiful city! Perfect for our aspiring artist daughter. She moved for both love and college…a lovely arts college in Seattle. Since her boyfriend knew she would end up there he asked to be stationed in one of the two place in the Seattle area after his initial training in the Navy….and he did end up there! He is a great young man and loves our daughter…and they will take care of each other, be on this journey together with God guiding the way and watching over them closer than my husband and I can. Yes, we must have faith, and we do. I still miss her, cry because she is so far away and talk to her everyday (usually at dinner time when she needs a little advice!). It is still hard, even though we trust the Lord, isn’t it? But He made us to have all kinds of feelings so we are okay…we just need to feel them. I do art journaling and this helps me so much to get my feelings out, or work them, etc. Feel free to visit my blog and see the posts where I talk about my daughter’s leaving. And, Peace to your heart, Sara
Sara, I’m glad you stopped by my blog. It helps just knowing there are others who are facing the same difficulties I am with having children leaving the nest. Thank you for the invite to your blog. I’ll be stopping by. betty jo